Do you know that everything you say affects my mood, makes a great impact on however I'm feeling? Although you're not that kind who will come up to me on my Facebook or Twitter to say "Honey I miss you" or "Sweetie you're mine" ETC... I still cherish the fact that on some nights you'll give me a good night text with "I love you, good night." I cherish that you had the heart to do so just to make me feel loved. I'm not like some girls who will go crazily high or blush extremely obvious devil red when their boyfriend sweet talk them... For me, even the slightest things you do for me, I keep it to myself and I feel very grateful in my heart... I just don't know how to show it to you that I cherish what you do for me. Sometimes during quarrels, you'll comment that I don't notice what you do for me but I focus more on what you don't do for me. I do notice, I do cherish, I do appreciate. For everything that you've done for me, just fucking ask me to marry you when you can and don't let me have the chance to run away so I can return you the favor. L-O-L...
No I'm just kidding, I mean, for everything that you've done for me, I remember it all and I'm thankful for them. Thank you for being by my side until now. It's not easy, we both know it, that's why I guess we both are holding on to this relationship very tightly.
I know whenever we have a tiff or argument, I'll cry, I'll cry like a small girl who lost her way in a crowded mall.. Do you know whenever you text me sweet simple text like "In my mind there's only you and my family.." makes my heart skip a beat and it makes me tear too. It touched my heart. Tears of joy(?) Hahaha. All I know is, I'm aware that our relationship is stable now but we both can't deny that we had scarred our relationship before. I won't say that our relationship had been ruined by you, it was both of us because it takes two hands to clap. I must have done something you make you have a change of heart. Since it's over, whatever happened, whoever that other girl is, I'm telling you boy, I'm putting it down. I've thought about it; why should I let the past haunt me? Why should I get so affected by everything? All I know that now you're back here with me, not with her. Now the person that you're meeting/calling/chatting/texting with is me, not her. Now you're mine and I'm yours. All I need is to cry tonight. To cry my eyes out for the last time. After this, I promise, no more tearing for this incident anymore. I shouldn't let this past control me. I must be in total control of my thoughts so that I can focus more on US than to focus on whatever you and her have done in the past. All I care about now is the future that is awaiting us. Now we both have our second go at this, let's give this relationship what it deserves, and now it's our second chance, let's not screw this up. Let's make one another proud of this love that we share alright.
When I think back of the past... I had bangs and really black hair. When I first saw you at Tampines Starbucks, you were so quiet. I even offered you a cigarette, I'm sorry I didn't know you quitted smoking then. I didn't thought that I'd ever fall for you. I thought you'll be one of those people that I get to see once then never get to meet again... On the first day you didn't have my attention until you offered to carry my bag for me. It was quite shocking because you were just so dao and I didn't ask you to do so, you surprised me my dear..
After our first day of seeing each other, do you know I waited the whole night for you to come online in Facebook? I waited the whole night. I kept telling myself to wait but I was sure you weren't coming on.. But suddenly you said hi to me!!! I.WAS.SO.EXCITED. But I think I saw that a tad too late because after that you didn't reply me anymore. I was blaming myself and I was so disappointed for not giving you a reply faster. The next day, I waited again for you in Facebook. This time, I tried my luck to ask Daryl to head out with me so that I can have the chance to see you again. Charlotte and I wanted to go City Hall and you said it was super far so you didn't want. I ALMOST CRIED I WANTED TO SEE YOU SO BAD! Fortunately after some persuasion from Daryl, you tagged along. That day I wore a beanie because I hated my bangs and I wanted to look the best I could when I'm meeting you. I remember how that day started: We were on the train and do you freaking know I blush every single time I turn to look at you. Why the freaking world are you so tall?? The whole cabin was full and we're at different ends, why? Why can't you just get outta my sight?! Remember how we both were texting each other when we're just right in front of each other? Also, for some reason or another I had a bad mood that day and you just kept consoling me. When we had lunch, you carried my tray away for me and that's when I know I really had feelings for you.
We went bugis some time later for sheesha. Oh goodness that day was bitter-sweet for me. On the bus to bugis, we got freaking forced to sit with each other. It was awkward and we had a very minimal exchange of words. But when we were alight the bus, you held my back to support me so I won't lose my balance (I was wearing heels then). You then gave me a very strong feeling that I could count on you to be there for me when I need you. You made me melt. We held hands, hugged and I gave you a peck on the your lips when you sent me home. That night, somehow I cried the whole night when I knew you were talking to Joyce (Joyce! I know you won't mind I write your name right! You know I don't have any grudges with you k! LOVE YOU!) on the phone and it made me went berserk. But you tried to make me feel better even though you did say that talking to Joyce was better compared to talking to me because you could relate more with her. I just couldn't find anything to talk about with you because I was so freaking nervous. I didn't want to screw things up because I was really into you. So don't blame me for not talking much. I just felt shy and really tongue tied. Whatever else happened in our relationship is just for us to keep as memories. All of them are important and I cherish every single memory you've given me. An extra second with you gives me an extra memory that I'll never forget.
I just don't know how I got to know you and how we managed to go this far. (Although 15months is not very long I know). I really wonder how in the world did I managed to get you. All along I thought you were this quiet guy who didn't really speak much. Now infront of me you're this little precious playful monkey who will always irritate me with random noises. You're so noisy!! I just thank God for whatever he had given us, even all the quarrels and obstacles. It made us stronger and it makes me realise how important and precious this relationship is to me. I treasure everything and I hope you do too. I am awaiting for what ever our future has in store for us. Hold my hands, just don't let go no matter what the obstacle is infront of us, we can overcome it together I'm sure. Don't give up too easily again will you? I'm always here for you boy.
I love you.
Sarah anne lee jia yi, wherever you are, whoever you're with. Please, don't make the same mistake too. Flirt with someone's who's single. It's not worth it to hurt another girl just because you're feeling lonely and flirty. It makes you disgusting, you worthless piece of cheap trash. I hate you with all my guts and I can't wait to burn you alive. But of course that's just a figure of speech, I know I can't burn you alive. So I'll just imagine that. But all I wish for you is to find a true love and I'll definitely pray for you because I believe in karma and one day you'll get hurt by the one that you really love. That is when you'll think of me.. You'll imagine me in your head with my middle fingers up your face. That's when you know you got mindfucked by me and you'll regret everything. But it's too fucking late. Karma is on her way so wait for her. Don't run, she'll catch up eventually you bitch. I hope your mum realises that her daughter is a worthless trash who knows how to do nothing but sing jar of hearts. L.O.L. To Green View Secondary people, please, you think you have a cute counsellor who knows how to sing? You don't know how filthy she is and how bitchy she can get. Don't be fooled by her bloody innocent face. She uses that face to flirt and attract attention. Kay, I'm done.
